statistically speaking

there're a bunch of government types who study earthquakes. it's all historical; they gather statistics and analyse them then later they share their opinion.

there was another man, the moon man, who did the same. but he added another twist to the equation: he added his prediction

the city was alive with gossip. this moon man's predictions were eerily close to the reality. we were all frightened. even folk who normally pay no heed to soothsayers were wondering.

the world watched our turmoil and witnessed our pain on the internet and telly. two weeks later, the day after the electricity was turned back on i took the kids and with a friend, headed up north for a little break.

i met a woman in a park. she called herself a clairvoyant. she told me stories that within days had revealed themselves to be true...

my poor wee heart, my poor damaged head.

(here's an amusing little side story- one that would unwittingly play a huge part in my life for the following months.... one week post quake (the 2nd quake) we tried to go out on a family outing, you know- engage in something 'normal'. we went to a gathering at the local civil defence spot where they were giving out free water and food. calix went on his running bike and i followed on my rollerskates. yes, you may wonder- what the fork?! but, believe it or not, i was(am) a good skater. but i'll never be able to tell you what happened. we said our goodbyes and then i was on the ground with a bunch of faces circling mine. police, army, pascal and calix.... somehow i'd fallen, somehow i'd knocked my head. somehow i'd earned myself and my family a free ride in an ambulance to the hospital, while the city (and nation) was in a state of emergency, from a freaking rollerskating accident!)

home again, my panic continued. little did i know i was suffering from post-concussion syndrome. my behaviour became erratic. i couldn't cope with the earthquakes and aftershocks. i couldn't cope with my children. i was constantly tired- more so than breastfeeding-and-aftershock interrupted sleep allowed for. my head continued to swim, i often struggled to focus and my balance was out. i couldn't read -and for someone who reads a book a week this is a big deal. life was trivial, i felt all i could do was survive. of course, the person (and people) closest to me suffered more.

the date of the moon man's prediction approached and my horror and panic grew. i couldn't cope with the possibility of more, or worse, but i couldn't convince my family to understand how i felt.

the came, the hour passed. we breathed out.

12 hours later it struck. not the earthquake he predicted, but one worth noting all the same.

all i could do was hide in my bed, fully clothed but shaking. my heart racing faster than perviously i'd thought possible. within minutes i was asleep; i'd never known such fear without reason.

although the moon man apoligised the fact remained, in my eyes, that statistically speaking he was right. the full moon's proximity to the earth added a gravitational pull to the equation... the full moon, as history will tell you, increased my panic and my madness...